Okay, just for fun and because I am indeed a nasty person: if you have a go at answering these via the comment function, I’ll send you the list of elegant transitions for use in writing about sex that was brainstormed by my superb students. And I will hurrah mightily whoever gets these mainly, or all, correct. I trust you not to google the answers, because that would be sad behaviour. Who said the following ….
Writing about Sex Quiz
1. A widespread taste for pornography means that nature is alerting us to some threat of extinction.
2. Sex is interesting, but it’s not totally important. I mean it’s not even as important (physically) as excretion. A man can go seventy years without a piece of ass, but he can die in a week without a bowel movement.
3. The tragedy of sexual intercourse is the perpetual virginity of the soul.
4. My reaction to porn films is as follows: After the first ten minutes, I want to go home and screw. After the first 20 minutes, I never want to screw again as long as I live.
5. The good thing about masturbation is that you don’t have to get dressed up for it.
6. The majority of husbands remind me of an orangutan trying to play the violin.
7. Sex and beauty are inseparable,
Like life and consciousness.
And the intelligence which goes
With sex and beauty,
Is intuition.
8. In itself, homosexuality is as limiting as heterosexuality: the ideal should be to be capable of loving a woman or a man; either, a human being, without feeling fear, restraint, or obligation.
9. Lesbianism has always seemed to me an extremely inventive response to a shortage of men, but otherwise not worth the trouble.
10. My instincts are all against a woman being too frank and at her ease with me. It is no compliment to a man. Where the real sex feeling begins, timidity and distrust are its companions, heritage from old wicked days when love and violence went often hand in hand.
11. I’ve mostly written about sex by means of the space break.
So, which of you are the sex and literature mavens …?
2 Comments
Richard
24th March 2006I’ll piss into the wind on this quiz:
1. Hugh Hefner.
2. Charles Bukowski.
3. Margaret Thatcher.
4. Nick Hornby.
5. George Michael.
6. Betty Friedan.
7. D. H. Lawrence.
8. Elton John.
9. Queen Elizabeth.
10. Marquis De Sade.
11. Ernest Hemingway.
If any of these are correct, I will eat my hat, in a strangely sexual manner, if you’d like.
LMF
28th March 2006[laughing mightily at Richard, and thinking that if it weren’t just too crass I’d take a page from his book, ending at #11 with “My Mother.”]
I have NO idea. But it’s a great set of quotes!