Is the Eyjafjallajokull eruption my fault?

Well, not mine. The fault of the Sunday Times short story competition judges, in fact.

Seriously, a friend of mine, I’ll call her Ursula, because that will make her laugh, thinks it may be true. Ursula is … let’s say she has a different world view to me. Hers includes astrology, homeopathy, astral healing and so on. She’s said I can tell this story as long as I include the statement that in her view I’m amazingly narrow-minded and stultified for somebody who’s supposed to have a good imagination. Consider it recorded.

Anyway, a couple of days ago, Ursula emailed me to ask if I thought the eruption and ash cloud could have been caused by my story (about an Icelandic volcano) not having won the Sunday Times comp. ‘No,’ I replied and forgot about it.

Then this morning she emailed me again, saying that in light of the opprobrium that was being heaped on the actual winner, did I want to reconsider my view?

‘No,’ I replied. Then I had a moment of weakness and rang her to ask how on earth she came to the conclusion that it could.

According to Ursula it’s simple. The Icelandic volcanoes probably don’t get a lot of stories written about them these days, so feel a bit neglected. When ‘their’ story doesn’t win a competition they might have a bit of a rumble in complaint, but when the actual winner is then given a rough time in his own country of origin over the nature of his story, that disgruntlement might spill over into an eruption.

Very simple. Almost logical, if your worldview coincides with Ursula’s.

One problem

The volcano I wrote about is imaginary – there is no volcano upriver from the Gulfoss waterfall, and Eyjafjallajokull isn’t anywhere near the location of my short story.

So you can’t blame me if your flight’s been cancelled, okay?

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