Sex – or not – as the case may be

I’ve had that sniffy conversation again. The one where a ‘real’ writer turns to me and says, ‘Don’t you feel demeaned, writing erotica?’

Well no, actually. Let’s see:

1 – It’s fun
2 – It’s lucrative
3 – I get to meet some wonderful people who take me for lunch at exciting restaurants
5 – I like sex, and I like writing about it.

And unlike you, oh miserably up-tight and reputation-conscious literary writer, I don’t go to an office. I have no long and vile commute to endure. No boss makes my day miserable. I organise my own work and spend all day at home, wearing what I like, being polite to nobody (except the dogs, who expect it, being from Scotland), eating and drinking whatever and whenever and … get this, by this means I not only have a great time I ALSO PAY THE BILLS.

Borges said, ‘A writer should have another lifetime to see if he’s appreciated’. Good enough for Borges, good enough for me. I’m not a proud writer. What I am is a humble and fully employed writer. If I get a second lifetime I’ll worry about my reputation, until then I’m having fun, paying the mortgage and reminding myself that this is what pen names are for.

I feel better now.

And I shall be teaching my infamous course Writing about Sex which turns anybody into a professional, getting-paid-for-it, erotica writer, early next year, in a gorgeous venue in Brighton. Previous students have earned back their course fees with the sale of a SINGLE story written during the course, so it’s actually a cost-free course, if you do everything I tell you (and why wouldn’t you?). Let me know if you want details.


  1. Paul Campbell
    30th November 2007

    I so want to know what reason number 4 is.

  2. Kay Sexton
    30th November 2007

    Well spotted! Number 4 is something that the students get to fill in at the end of the course …

    btw, I was talking to Penny Leicester and Gordon House of R4 last week during our course and they mentioned that the current Writing Academy had a stellar crop of talent. Were your ears burning?

  3. Paul Campbell
    30th November 2007

    I wondered why they were so sore at the weekend. It could explain the smell too.

    And they’re right – we are pretty stellar!

  4. Nik's Blog
    30th November 2007

    Well, not that I’ve written anything remotely erotic In My Life (and probably couldn’t) – I very much wanted to say Well Said!

    Bloody snobs.

  5. Admitments
    2nd December 2007

    Any course with you sounds tempting!

  6. B.A. Goodjohn
    3rd December 2007

    Well said, that lady. The only definition of good writing is the right word in the right place. And if the right word is “moist” and the right place is ‘on top’, it’s good writing.

  7. Blake's Mistress
    4th December 2007

    I am very happy to see an author of erotica tell it like it is! Brava!

    How I wish I could take your course, but I am in the states (found you through B.A. Goodjohn’s blog). Do you ever have courses online?

    I have a story I’ve been sitting on for more than a decade. After playing with a lot of titles, I finally settled on one inspired by my professor in 18th century British satire: “A Harlot’s Progress” It is quite appropo, though I have long dragged my feet in actually writing it, for fear of embarrassing family and other concerns.
    But I really would love to write it. Maybe someday!

    Thanks for your inspiration!

  8. Kay Sexton
    10th December 2007

    Blake’s Mistress, if you would love to write it, then you must! I would love (to reciprocate) to teach the course online but I’m not sure it would work, as one of the most empowering elements for writers is to sit in a room and discuss writing about sex with other writers.


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